My second blog entry will be on the issue of interpersonal conflict. In life, interpersonal conflicts are unavoidable due to our many differences, but it is in the way we manage these conflicts that prevents these clashes from escalating and erupting into an all out war where everyone gets hurt. :'(
Today, I will be reenacting a conflict that occurred in my workplace when I was working in a Japanese restaurant as a service staff a few years back.
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Before I begin, let me first introduce the parties involved. I will be using dummy names for my post because I do not wish to expose the names of the people involved.
Firstly, person A is the restaurant manager, she's basically in charge of running the store and making sure everything runs smoothly from the kitchen, the service area and kaiten area. She looks tough and mean on the outside but when you get to know her better on a personal level, she will always listen to your opinions and will not hesitate to lend you a helping hand when you are unable to cope. She's like a big sister to us.
Next, person B is the "lao jiao" or the super experienced senior who has been working for over two years and knows the store inside out and is able to take on any role proficiently. She knows her stuff probably even better than the store manager herself and we can always look to her for advice on what to do if we aren't sure.
Also, there's me, the newbie that has been working for 2 months who knows most of the basics in my job and what to do and what not to, at least most of the time. :3
Lastly, person C is the "new-newbie" who started working 1 month after I started working in the restaurant but has managed to learn everything extremely quickly due to her previous working experience in the sector.
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And it begins, the conflict that I'm bringing up now is not a direct conflict between any two individuals but rather more of a mini "cold" war between B the senior and C and me the newcomers.
When C and me first started working in the restaurant, we saw B as an extremely efficient, hardworking staff who was also very meticulous in her work. She was also willing to help us and give us useful advice when we were new to the job despite our occasional mistakes.
At that point in time, C and me had a very good impression of B because if not for her, we would not be able to adapt to the job as quickly as we did. However, C and me were still frequently scolded by A for making tiny mistakes such as keeping the stations fully stocked up on chopsticks and other items or for some small issues such as sitting down to pack sushi during store opening when there wasn't any customers.
It was only when another senior who was resigning due to other commitments she had at home told us about what B has done that we realised that all the while it was B who was talking behind our backs to A about all the small little mistakes we made.
We felt betrayed and began to lose our trust in B but did not express our displeasure to her so that the working environment will not be affected, hoping that things will get better if we improve our attitude towards work and avoid making mistakes in front of her.
But it was not to be. No matter how hard we try, B will always find trouble with everything we do, such as complaining that we did not keep the stations stocked up during lunch/dinner hours when we are all busy taking orders and serving the food to the customers or complaining to A about the person who was in charge of the station she was taking over from.
It was getting more of a nuisance that began to affect everyone and slowly but surely everyone, including A, began to distance themselves away from B because of the fact that she keeps talking behind other's back such as talking about A's and C's bad points to me and telling A's and my bad points to C.
If you were in my shoes, what would you do to rectify the situation?
If you were A, what would you do to stop the situation from affecting the working atmosphere?
Hello there Zi Yang,
ReplyDeleteHmmmm, in response to your first question, I would attempt to approach B in hopes to be able to settle the situation privately without the involvement of superiors. I would also bring C as well for support. I would request to speak to B privately away from hearing shot of others and ask her politely if the allegations of her bad-mouthing us are true (eventhough I know it is true). This is to make her feel a bit less defensive as it is not as affensive as accusing her straight. If she denies it, I would just clarify that we have heard about it (that's why C is there as support to back up ur statements). However, reassure her that you are not angry and all you want to do is to just talk it out as to any specific reason why she is tat-tailing on you and C. Politely request that although everyone enjoys a good gossip now and then, it is not nice to bad-mouth other people and that you would appreciate it if she were to not do so anymore.
If I were A, as the restaurant manager, I would be in a position of higher authority, which indirectly kind of gives more weight to my words. However, this power should not be abused. I would most probably call the involved parties (B, C and you) into my office and try to remediate the situation by asking B to explain her actions and articulate her point of view. Then I would ask you and C to articulate your feelings as well to see if a mutual consensus can be reached. However, I will try to be neutral and use neutral language and tone in order not to make B feel as if she is being painted as the antagonist lest she may become defensive. A polite reminder that teamwork is essential to the running of an establishment and back-stabbing your co-workers isn't going to help might emphasize the point.
Hope that helps! (:
Cheers!
Sarah L.